You guys, I’ve been hit by the freak-out bug….
…..and feeling a little anxious. More than likely, there will not be a 41 week picture. (Well, here is hoping Baby G doesn’t hang out for too long in there.)
It’s really fun to be able to look back at past pictures. The little baby and the belly have grown so much, and the belly has also changed shape. It cracks me up to see my early pictures and remember thinking how much baby and I were changing and growing.
So back to the anxiety thing…
Anxiety is something that I’ve struggled with in the past. When Phil and I were first married, I was hit by a very intense bout of anxiety. Phil was traveling for work (Sunday night – Friday night), I was feeling the change of life, was overwhelmed by the end of wedding planning and was going through a transition at work. It was a huge time of adjustment for me. I had to learn a new way of living and go through my own personal discovery of how my life was going to look and also learn how to manage my anxiety.
As I have mentioned before, I am Type A and losing control is not an easy thing to do or be forced into. But over the years I have learned so much about the facts of life; we are not in control of what happens to us, but only of our reaction and next action. Phil has helped me so much over the years to understand that crap happens and we have to decide what is worth stressing over, handle it and move on.
Letting go and understanding the extent of our ability to have life go our way are hard lessons to learn.
I’m at a turning point in my life again, which will bring a great deal of change (good change!), and it’s starting to become more *real* every single day. I’m ready and excited for the new challenges, but change is change and always creates an onset of uncertainty and fear of the unknown. Being pregnant has also been very helpful for me because there are so many things I have no control over, so I’ve had to go with the flow and remain optimistic this entire time.
I’m anxious about the birth. I’m excited to be able to see what my body is capable of and the fact that we’ll finally get to meet Baby G when it’s all over, but one of my friends said to me last week “you’re going to realize that the baby has to come out somehow, and it’s going to freak you out.” And honestly, I always have been afraid of the actual birthing process and worry how I will handle the situation when it comes time.
I’m also anxious to meet bebe. What will it be, what will it look like, will it cry a lot, will it fit in newborn clothes, will it breastfeed, will it sleep??? So many questions that simply cannot be answered. Not yet.
So, with all of this fear of the unknown that is to come, my anxiety has reared it’s ugly head sending me into a tailspin. But I am doing my best to know that babies do not come with manuals, and despite the amount of preparation I may do, there will still be times when I am at a complete loss…
And that is ok. Life will go on, the baby will be fine without all the bells and whistles and my instincts will kick in.
Because, that is life; it is not perfect, and neither am I. But all we can do is the best we can with what we have. And what I have is a lot of love and excitement. And that will be enough.
Do you ever get overwhelmed or are you more go-with-the-flow?
How do you handle change?
What is the biggest/scariest change you’ve gone through?
Thanks as always to Amanda for hosting TOL!