Please tell me you have seen this commercial. It is my absolute favorite in a long, long time
One question I am frequently asked is how Phil and I keep our relation going. After seven and a half years together it is easy to fall into the trap of everyday life taking over.
Have you heard of the 5 Love Languages? I had always assumed there was one universal way to show love, but according to this theory, I’m mistaken. They’re as follows: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch, and every person feels uniquely loved in one of these ways. According to the concept, the way you feel loved is also the way you show love.
My sister told me about this book a few months back and I thought the concept was really interesting. We are all different in the way we interpret life, love, value and our beliefs. So understanding where our love tank is filled and our partners can give us a deep understanding of how to improve our relationship.
For instance, my love language is Words of Affirmation, which I find a little ironic since I also strongly agree the notion that, “actions speak louder than words.” A positive verbal gesture goes a long way for me and it aligns with the way I show appreciation for other people. An “I love you” or “job well done” makes me feel acknowledged for things I’m doing right and I like to do the same in return.
Phil’s love language is Acts of Service, which means my verbal affirmations don’t have the same impact on him. Realizing this has helped me become a better partner.
It was perspective-changing to learn that doing a task meant more to him than a sentimental love note, and though it may not come naturally, it’s something we both work on.
This week Phil has completely taken over the household chores and picked up extra slack as I ease into the last week of pregnancy. Phil’s love language (Acts of Service) reminds me that his vacuuming is much more than that. Understanding how the other half communicates is a great way to move deeper into your relationship.
As much as I respect where Phil is coming from (and vice versa) I think it is super important to find some middle ground. For example, we try to spend time together (date nights, walks, bike rides or Sunday mornings sipping coffee on the front porch have become some of our favorites), find common interests that we can share, and most importantly – communicate. Being open and honest with each other is the best thing we have done to keep our relationship strong.
What is your love language? Find out here
What do you think is the best relationship advice?
Thanks to Amanda for hosting TOL